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We'd been flicking through
The Guinness book of records
when Joanna found that
the world's longest kiss
had been for seventeen days
in Chicago, U.S. of A.
That's what started the craze
for long-distance kissing.
I kept well away.
Till one day I was cornered
by the school's professional,
out for a spot of practice
she said
come on give us a kiss
I said
yuck no way hose
she said
come on give us a kissssssssssss
I said
No way Shirley whirley
I'm off.
so I legged it
to the end of the playground
where she pursued me
whooping and yelling
like a siren
with lips like suction pads
and octopus arms that made a grab.
so I legged it
to the bicycle sheds
where she followed me
with lips like a frog
and said
come on give us a song
so I said
Come on give us a snog!''
So I said
No Way Not Today
So I legged it
to the drinking fountain
where she tracked me down
with a frown
and lips puckered
ready to kiss me to death.
she said
come on let's break the record
so I thought
Euch.....mmmmmm.....well.....why not!
Come on girl let's give it a whirl!'
strange then
that it was she
who scarpered
quick as a knife
to the other end of the playground
where she told my best friend,
Petie Fisher
that I loved her,
and I wanted to marry her
and give her a kisssssss.
I've decided that kissing
is no good for your health.
I'm keeping my lips
for the nicest person I know.
By: Pie Corbett
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